Hes not gay hes in a fraternity

Empty Closets. Learn More. Thread Tools Thread Tools. Ok so this is my first post to EC and frankly this situation is confusing me. I am a closeted bisexual college guy that's in a fraternity and am in a relationship that I haven't told anyone about. I feel sometimes like some of the guys know that I'm not straight but just don't say anything out of respect for my feelings which is fine with me but I've never really been confronted about it or denied it.

Just recently I moved into the house next door to my fraternities chapter house with my fraternity brother "S" and I've been noticing some strange behavior with another fraternity brother of mine, "M". For instance every time he comes over he opens my door without knocking.

One time he came over and opened my door without looking in while I was changing and had my pants unbuttoned. Another time we were sitting on the couch playing video games just the two of us and every time I would lean back he would lean back as well as if he were trying to get closer to me.

Then while he was leaning forward I leaned back and put my arm behind him on the upright part of the soft and he leaned back sort of forcing my arm to be around him. Also he was reaching over me to put something on the table and lingered while using my leg to support his arm which to me seemed like unnecessary contact not that I mind.

Other things have happened like he came over without a shirt on for some odd reason no one ever does that really. He touches me on the shoulder or back just out of nowhere and then walks away. Hey man! I was in a fraternity and came to be in a similar situation with a fraternity brother so I hope I can be of help.

Therefore, you are going to be looking to subconsciously interpret his actions as such, whether you are aware of the fact that you are doing this or not which it seems you are aware. You are hoping that something as innocent as some body contact or touching means more.

Now going off of what you have mentioned these signals could be completely innocent or may mean something more. As I said, you are hoping that they are more so your interpretation of him coming over without a shirt on is that he was hoping you were going to check him out, but it could easily be his laziness.

You just have to be aware that you are very much hoping he is into you, and to not over analyze innocent things. He may be just an easy going guy so the touching on the couch may just mean nothing to him. If I were you, and having gone through something very similar this is how I would go about hes not gay hes in a fraternity.

You don't want to exist in a zone of uncertainty, and you DO NOT want to get involved emotionally with someone who is not ready to open up about their sexuality. This happened to me, and it sucked big time.

Is my fraternity brother bi-curious/gay and into me?

I experienced a lot of the similar touching stuff, became emotionally attached and then even more overt sexual things happen. Needless to say, my friend was not ready to talk about anything and it really left me hurting. So I know a lot of people may say to just let things be and see where things go, but there is the potential that un-reciprocated feelings could grow and you could be very hurt.

So what can you actively do? Well, I understand that being in a fraternity likely means coming out is not an option so I wouldn't even advise that. I would have never done that either. You could try to push the envelope of the touching stuff when you guys are drunk, but like I said I did this and it was received well, so it caused my feelings to grow.

If I could go back and do it over, I would have kept my emotional distance and downplayed his actions.